"It's just time to go our separate ways."
I couldn't believe that she was actually going to walk away from me. I was angry and confused, but much more just hurt. She had been one of the greatest impacts on my life over the last three-and-a-half years that I had known her. That's right, nearly four years. Plenty of time to get acquainted and then some. She was not only a mentor/life coach to me, she was like an older sister. The influence she held on me was huge.
"Yes, she is really going to leave you."
I was stunned when God confirmed that to me. I thought maybe I could sort it out, correct the misunderstanding - the more I tried, the worse it got. Hurtful words and blame volleyed both directions. I just couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it! I didn't want God to take her away, but I knew it was going to happen.
"All I wanted was to tell you all about it."
I had just come back from a life-altering experience with God and I was more than enough ready to make up for my wrongs. I was so excited to tell her about my experience, to celebrate with her about what God had done in my life. But instead I came back to more hurt and judgement. From the friend who had walked with and encouraged me to go to eternity with God came condemnations for self-righteousness and piety. All I wanted to do was tell her about it.
"God I've already lost a friend!"
She was the second I had parted ways with that very month, both quite close friends, though my friendship with her had been much longer. I couldn't understand why God was doing this, and now at a time when I had become distant to alot of lesser friends, why did this happen?
"You wouldn't have done it otherwise."
I always heard that some friends are only meant to be together for a season, but when the season was over, I didn't want to let go. It didn't seam like a right way to separate ways. But several weeks later God explained why it had to be that way. He called me to chase after him. Sometimes we cross paths with others on the same journey, but he called me to chase Him. It was time to continue on to another season in my life, a season where some people could not follow, but I wouldn't have been able to let go of those people on my own.
"If I could go back in time..."
It didn't have to end like that, we always say 'If I could go back in time and do it again...' I wish I could go back and do it again, at least make things right before God led her out of my way. But the past is the past and cannot be changed. This winter would have been four years since we met, I don't regret any other time with her over the three-and-a-half years we shared. I wish that somehow, we could have remained together as friends, but I hold to the hope that what now is will not be forever. For now, all I can say is, "Fare well, Sister..."
"Farewell."
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